i am getting very short tempered recently, and am tempted to blame it on the stress of the job.
people are coming up to ask me for answers, decisions and i cannot appear clueless or helpless, even if most of the time i really am.
it's the pressure of constantly having to think on my feet, and then the stress of second guessing myself and wondering if the right decision had been made.
juggling a few balls at the same time, when more balls are being thrown in.
then my GM suddenly found out about 1 of the balls, and sent an email to everyone, effectively telling everyone to start panicking.
that got another person's attention and he replied the email, asking what the hell is going on, why isn't anyone aware of such a big issue.
i just wanted to reply to everyone in caps.
CAN EVERYONE FREAKING CALM DOWN?!?! I'VE BEEN ON THIS SINCE DAY ONE!! SO STOP JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS WHEN NO ONE KNOWS SHIT ABOUT IT!!!!!
but of cos i didn't.
i had to answer 1 ridiculous question at a time.
"no, we can't change the supplier because we've already used up all of the materials they have supplied us."
"yes. i know that it is not a good thing to fail tests. but thanks for the reminder."
while i was writing the email, someone i was supposed to meet with at 2pm came in and totally forgot about the meeting when i asked him about it,
i got very frustrated and raised my voice.
until i realised i was the person who made a mistake and mixed up all my dates.
and sheepishly had to apologise.
i remember reading somewhere once that the trick to a good juggling act is in the throw, not in the catch.
we only have 2 hands and can only catch 2 balls at one time,
but if we throw it up in the air and let the process move along, we can handle other items before throwing those up too, and catch the earlier balls that are coming back to us.
learning.. still learning.
meanwhile, please bear with me.





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